Should I be?

I'm not worried as you take me to a place you choose I'm not worried as you talk to me in such a way it sends goose bumps down my spine I’m not worried as you pull me close to you as you kiss me softly I'm not worried as our kiss becomes more real.......but should I be?

You lay me down gently and hover above you run your hands across my body and set me on fire, both of our shirts are off and the contact of our skin is driving the me inside crazy, I wrap my arms around your neck pulling you closer to me whispering your name, I feel the me inside begin to awaken but I push away the possibilities because I don’t feel you’re a threat to me, still I wonder why she is coming, I’m not so worried though........but should I be?

Our bodies melt together as we dance a lovely dance I feel myself

lose control as she begins to lead, she claims your only trouble and

not meant for me and as you start to speak to me I feel nothing but

empty, I don't feel the love you claim 

is there I'm not happy......

but should I be?

Finally she gained all control and I'm left in the dark, I’m

not sure what’s happening but I know I'll find out later, from

 you are from the inner me, I start to feel sick as I realize all

she could be doing, she's one to play games and mess around

but I push all thoughts away I’m not worried..........but should I be?

I wake up fully dressed standing in a room, I can't remember putting

a shirt on or standing up but I act as if nothing’s changed, I’m not even

sure you know, you lost me for a while, I don't know if you know that

for a while in the real world you weren’t really with me, I was gone too

far for you to see, I speak as if I never left only for you to tell me what I

 feared, you'd met the inner me, now I know she only played with you tested you and will be back for more, you past her first test so I'm not too

worried about what’s to come........

but should I be?

You pull me into a hug and ever doubt I have fades away 

I feel as if I'll always be safe with you, that you’re sure 

to treat me good, you'll accept me for me and all my personalities, we can be happy and not just another person, 

no we can last, I like to believe that none of this is fake 

that it’s going to last I don't want to be torn apart 

or to have another part of me taken away, 

so I hope again, together we stay, I feel the inner me awaken 

she begs for control, she claims she will make sure nothing 

bad’s to come, but I have trouble with trust, even when it comes 

to trusting myself, I start to decide I'm going to start trusting her and not to worry about what’s to come, 

I decide I’m not scared for the future.........

but should I be?

you wish

You wish you had a name for the times you fell so hard to the cold floor below you wish you were able to name the day the first tears fell the day when your life went to hell and you lost all control you wish you had a name for the time you broke when you shattered your whole soul thrown all over the world you wish you had a name for the other half of you that was taken from you when you were so young and the times you lost, your memories stolen from you....these are just somethings you may wish for

What would it be like?

My bodies bruised

I'm all worn out

Pain flows through me

Not used to this without

The poison in my veins

Bring back to me

All the moments

Ever lost in time

Where are all the pieces

That are no one else but mine

Crave the drug flow

Crave the blood flow

What I want you're sure to know

To disappear into the lost years

Fix everything, change me

You can't save me because 

I don't want to be saved

Want only destruction 

Cause pain to everyone

For all the pain caused me

Looking now can you see

So tired of all the blackouts

All the voices in my head

Flashbacks, bad memories, I dred

My bodies bruised

I'm all worn out

Laying down to sleep I wonder

What I would be like today

If I'd have never met you 

Drugs would control me

Pain would consume me

Hurt would be me

Love would destroy me

I know

I know that i should wait
for the coming of fall
but my hearts beating to
fast for me to stop now
so i race on

Love????

It hurts to be loved
Knowing you can't love
You don't love
Don't want to be loved
If the feelings only
Going one way
Not both
Because then the other person
Who deserves love
Doesn't get love
So why love
Someone who can't love
When you need love
To go both ways
To be true love
Find someone
Who'll treat you well
Love them who can love you
Don't love me

WE.....?

So I saw you and right away I knew 
I wanted only you
To be the one to hold me, to be the person I see

The only one for me

I never thought I'd lose you
So when I did I didn't believe it 

Until you ignored me never answering your phone 
And with out your voice on the other line I felt so alone

But that was only then now I feel alive 
You released the me buried deep inside

It seems like only yesterday then you came back 
into my life

It was only today you wont let me leave your sight

But it was tomorrow that we lost our way

I'm still glad though we both have lots to say

Without words to keep us going we'd be lost and all alone

There's a lot going on in our heads

So much we need to explain 
So lets open up our hearts and minds

Lets become one, we've only been apart for so little

We've been together so much, I'm ready for a stand off

If you're ready for something like such
I'm starting to doubt and I realized I'm not ready to keep going 
But I just can't halt so stand your ground 
On the floor below then catch me as I fall and let me know

Am I your own as you are mine?

Control

You said I had to control
The earge
And so I'd like you to know
I'm tired of Control
I've been holding back
For what seems like forever
I want to break free
Let loose
Don't tell me about control
I know all about it
I'll show you control

Fake

I hate destroying
People with my words
My own words
Written down
I bring people down
When I'm not carefull
I say too much
Let to close
Fake smiles
Fake always Fake

Can you except me
for who I've
come to be?
What in my life-time
A personality I've created
A person I've created
to replace the real me

The multipule voices
In my head
Who help me be
Who I am today
That girl everyones
Come to see
To believe is me
Could you hold me the same
Knowing your not really
Holding me
But the fake person
I've come to be
Is the only person the world believes
Is truthfully me
Take me as I am
Or leave me to be

Fake